Hymn parody (anyone want to provide the finishing touches?)

We Are All Addicted
(Parody of "We Are All Enlisted")


We are all addicted to this grease-loaded crap—
Heavy are we, heavy are we.
Every glob is going to the back of our lap,
We shall eat and wear it all our lives.
Haste to the freezer—quick, to the fridge!
Let’s find some caramel to stick to our bridge!
Stick to our diets? That’ll be the day!
We want to see, want to see how much we can weigh.

We are all addicted till the banquet is o’er—
Heavy are we! Heavy are we!
Vultures in the kitchen, there’s a fudge-pot in store,
We shall eat and wear it all our lives.

Hark! The sound of cupboard doors now opening wide;
Come form a line! Come form a line!
We are waiting now for goodies—see what’s inside . . .

(This parody is not intended to hurt the feelings of those who struggle with weight problems, since I, having ended up less than slender myself, fully sympathize. What it is intended to be is a jab at myself for letting myself end up in this state, as well as a statement on society's excesses and a form of protest regarding what I call the McDonald's Syndrome. Most of all, though, hopefully it has entertainment value--it just popped into my head one day, and the original lyrics just lent themselves so well . . . )